Kids say the darnest things

Taylor is very much into playing dress up right now. She's at that age and to help her along a little more, Mike's aunt bought her a 45 piece dress up chest complete with earrings, dresses, rings, shoes and crowns for Christmas. I thought it was the cutest thing until I read the 45 pieces and imagined these 45 pieces strewn about my house. I must say she has really kept up her end of the deal and picked up every piece when she is done and it doesn't hurt that it is kept in her room to keep Callee's grubby little hands off of it.

I am standing in the kitchen last night making dinner and I asked her to hand me a paper towel that she was standing next to so I could clean up the mess I had just made and as she hands it to me she says, "Here you go my majesty." I asked her where she heard this and she informed me when her and my niece play dress up, my niece makes her call her that. At least she didn't make me say it to her I guess. Later that night, she called me your royal heiness. I'm guessing that is another term used to describe my niece while playing dress up. I'm tempted to tell Taylor to call her a royal hind ass instead, but that wouldn't be very nice so as long as Taylor is okay with being the help only (kind of like Cinderella) and nothing royal or majestical than so am I.

A Christmas party!

Taylor with her face painted from her party at school.

Tuesday was a wonderful, busy day. I got to take a half day off at work and go to Taylor's Christmas party at school. It was nice to see what she does at school and be able to enjoy her and her friends. I got to help with her art project, which was a Santa hat with her name on it spelled out in glue and glitter and then we also made a paper chain, which is on our Christmas tree. I got to see how she learns and how much she has learned since starting there in September. Taylor is a very private child. When I get home from work on Tuesdays and Thursdays (her school days), I make dinner and when we sit down to eat I ask her how school was. She usually (95% of the time) answers good. Then I ask her what she did and she says nothing. I know she isn't doing nothing because she says things that I know she wouldn't normally know and sings songs I have never sang to her before, but she won't let me in her secret world of preschool. Going to her school really let me in and she was excited for me to be there.

Two of her little friends sat next to me during circle time and when it was time for her to sit down, she came over, sat on my lap and told the one little boy "She's my mom!" I thought it was too funny, but I explained to her that his mom wasn't there so he just wanted to sit next to me and she was okay with that, but she did have to sit on my lap the rest of the time. I am really impressed with how far she has come. We put Taylor in preschool because she doesn't play well with kids her own age. She plays well with younger kids and kids that are older than her, but not kids her own age. She interacts very well with the kids in her class and is very polite to them even when they are not very nice to her. Case in point, there is a child in her class that likes to push, hit and take toys off the other kids. The teacher does make the child sit in time out, but she continues to do it. This particular child pushed Taylor and the mother in me wanted to grab the girl and tell her not to touch my child again, but I didn't and Taylor just let it go. A little while later the girl pushed her again and she looked back at me like she wanted me to say something to her. I just gave Taylor a look like "you handle it."

She went over to the girl and said "Abby, you just pushed me."

Abby's response, "I know. You were in my way."

Taylor calmly told her "If you would have said excuse me, I would have moved out of your way and the next time you push me I'll have to tell the teacher because that is not how we behave."

It never happened again and I couldn't have been prouder.

After I got off work Tuesday night, the girls got their hair cut. They both got it cut much shorter than the last time, but I think they both look absolutely adorable! Taylor wanted her hair short is what she told the lady, but after last time's melt down, I wasn't so sure. When she was done, she looked in the mirror and said, "Julie did it absolutely perfect!" It was so sweet.

Last night my mom, me, my sister, CJ, Casia, Taylor, and Callee all ventured out to see the light display and Santa at Kraynak's. It was wonderful, but I left my digital camera in the car and didn't realize it until we were leaving so I have no pictures.

I am so excited for this weekend. It is going to be jam packed which I'm not looking forward to but I love seeing family and watching my kids open gifts and tell people why we have Christmas. This is the first year I am actually excited about Christmas in a long time, but it was well worth the wait. I hope everyone else has a great Christmas too. I probably won't post until Tuesday because I will be that busy tomorrow and through the weekend!

Story One of today

I use this blog to write things down and document them so hopefully I'll never forget them. I always think I'll never forget certain things, but just last night I was talking to a friend and I told her something that I had totally forgot about, so I decided to post it. I had a whole different post planned out today, so who knows, maybe I'll do that one later.

About Callee, when she was born we hadn't quite decided on a name yet. Mike told me I could name her and I liked the names Cameron, Callee, and Cambry. Notice the C's? I had her at 3:10 p.m. but they had to do a few things with her so we had called close family who was in the room waiting to be able to see her and we were discussing her name. Everyone was throwing out the names they liked and then my mom mentioned that the doctor who realized my placenta had torn and if I didn't have Callee, she would die, his name was Dr. Cawli (pronounced Cali.) Dr. Cawli is my daughter's angel. Had they released me as planned, she wouldn't have made it. He caught this tear at 1:00 p.m. on the 9th and I had gotten in the accident at 10:10 p.m. on the 8th. Praise the Lord for this man. And Callee is a true fighter. That is how Callee came to be known as Callee.

Josh, Joshy, or Joshua, whatever you want to call him!

So you want to hear about my brother and why not? I have nothing to write about today so it works well right now. I can't give you the long version because that would have to be broken down into parts. He has gone through a lot in his 21 years of existence and drug us through a lot of it with him. He has 3 sisters and one brother in law, 3 nieces and 1 nephew. Can you blame him for having issues and my poor nephew may have a few of the same. I love him and I'm proud of the improvement he has made.

When my brother was only a couple of days old, my older sister and I were fighting over who got to hold him. Seriously, one of us was pulling him by his feet and the other had him by his arms and my mom yelled, someone better let go NOW! So we both did. And splat on the floor he went. She wasn't happy with us and his crying began...

My brother cried for about the first 3 years of his life. I was the baby for 4 years and 358 days and then he came and all he did was cry! He had colic and then tons of ear infections. I never liked him except after we moved and I was too scared to sleep in my own bed and would beg him to let me sleep with him. I was older, he couldn't say no! So I would, almost every night!

He was always a very different child in a difficult way. Everyone knew he wasn't like most normal kids and when he was around 8 or 9, he was diagnosed bipolar. That brought on a lot of trials and tribulations for our family. He was crazy! He has tried to kill me about 5 times, my little sister a couple of times, but for some reason, it was mostly me. Josh you wanna fill in why here?

I can't even think where to begin to tell you some of the horror stories. His method of killing...choking you. One time we were home alone and he decided he didn't like what I said so the choke fest began. Luckily my older sister and her then husband walked in the house and pulled him off of me or I'm sure he wouldn't have stopped. He has always been an emotional boy too (now man).

At 16, he had scoliosis (?) so bad he had a hunch back. He had to have back surgery and now has a rod in his back to straighten him up. I forget how tall he was when he went into the surgery, maybe 5'8 and came out 6' or close to it. It was very weird to go visit someone you used to look eye to eye to and now you have to look way up. The bipolarness continued on. He threatened to throw a nurse out the window of his 8th floor room and a couple of other rude comments to other staff members.

Today, I am probably the sister that is closest to him. I love him and I am proud of the man he has become. He no longer takes his meds, for about a year, and although he still has good and bad days, he is getting much better at controlling them or saying, leave me alone for a while cuz if you don't, I'll explode. Some people don't believe in not living in the past and can't believe he's changed. I do and although I like to revisit it, I'd never want to live in that dark place again.

***As a side note, no one should ever pick on kids at school. I know most people think that is a myth or an excuse, that school shooters were teased and pushed to the brink. It's not! If my brother wouldn't have had such a good support system and been diagnosed young, that would have been him. You never know what inner demons someone is dealing with. I saw it from the "other" side and I have seen friends of mine pick on other kids. Talk to your kids and tell them to stand up for the underdog even against their own friends, because you never know what the other person will do and what they are going through. My PSA is now over so you can return to your regularly scheduled programming.

The Parade

Callee hanging out in her stroller waiting for the parade to begin.

Like I said yesterday, I took the girls to a parade on Sunday. My mom, me, my brother, CJ, Casia, Taylor, and Callee all ventured out to Lordstown for their Apple Cider Festival Parade. My nephew hates fire truck sirens, fireworks, and really any loud noises, so when the fire trucks came by, my mom had to hold his ears and he really was uninterested in the candy until they passed. We saw all kinds of cool tractors and four wheelers. There was a fire truck that had a dog mascot riding on the front which the girls really liked. They were so busy picking up the candy that they really didn't see too much of the parade. CJ saw the dog, but wasn't too impressed because of the fire truck with the loud sirens that accompanied it. I just wanted to show a few of the pictures that were a result of the day. We had a really good time and the parade lasted over an hour!

The marching band starting things off!

Casia and Taylor picking up candy and still trying to watch what's going on.

The dog on the fire truck!

He really doesn't like the sirens from the fire trucks. Doesn't he look happy?

There were so many four wheelers being driven around. This one was just so little and cute, I had to take a picture.
There were several tractors there too including one with a very pretty girl on it. My brother thought her tractor was sexy, but this was my favorite. If you click on it, you can read what it says under "Rita's Hope". I really enjoyed this tractor!

The story of Callee

Since I now realize people I don't know read my blog, I had one person inquire about my preemie. She has two preemie boys who needed to spend time in the NICU, luckily mine did not.

Callee was 4 weeks early due to a terrible car accident. A friend of mine and I were driving home from the rib burn off (I was pregnant and craving!) when she passed up my road. I told her it was no big deal to keep going straight and I'd show her how to get to my house the long way. We didn't quite make it to the next block when her small Ford Probe had a big Yukon turn in front of her and we hit.

I don't remember much except for asking her to call 911 between gasps. I had hit the windshield (or the windshield hit me) and somehow it knocked the wind out of me. When I could breathe regularly again, I tried to get out of the car, but I had a pretty nasty cut on my knee and for some reason couldn't lift it up.

I instantly thought Callee was dead. She had to be, I had hit so hard that I got the wind knocked out of me. In hindsight, it was probably her that got knocked back onto my diaphragm. I began telling my friend who to call first, my husband, my mom, we had to find someone to go sit with Taylor, she was sleeping and didn't need to see me with blood from my face to my leg.

Within seconds, an ambulance arrived and took me to the nearest hospital. Ashley made the arrangements with Mike and my mom and my mom picked her up (she couldn't drive her car because it was totalled and Ashley's family lives in Pittsburgh!) I went to one hospital and kept asking if my baby was okay and nobody would give me a straight answer. Can I just tell you how unbelievably frustrating that is! It seemed like an eternity before anyone got there. I was so scared and alone. Mike got there first. He came in and told me I could name the baby whatever I wanted I just couldn't die. This scared the tar out of me. How bad did I look? I knew how I felt, but he is that scared? We had argued over names for months so this was no small feat folks. Then a few minutes later my mom got there. She came in and said, "Oh my poor baby!" and I lost it! I was still her baby even though I had one of my own and one on the way. It was at that moment I truly felt how much my mother loved me. Don't get me wrong, I know my mother loves me and I know I love my children so much it hurts, but after years of torture and puberty you would have thought she lost some of that love somewhere. She didn't and I, in that moment, saw that. Ok, I digressed.

I had to be moved to a different hospital, one that has a trauma unit. That was the most painful 20 minute ambulance ride of my life. I was miserable and no one would tell me if my baby was ok. I really at this point thought, "She's dead and they don't want to tell me yet." At this second hospital, I was stitched up and x-rayed, had blood taken and was finally told my baby had a heart beat. I was then sent upstairs to have the baby monitored for a few hours. I thought I was in labor all night but the nurses kept saying no it was just pain from the accident. They are the professionals, right? I was sent for an ultrasound at noon and then I would be released.

The ultrasound showed my placenta had ruptured. I was told I would have to have an emergency c-section and with that I broke down again. I am absolutely terrified of having a c-section. At one of my first prenatal visits, I asked if I had to have one. The doctor said she wasn't sure this early on, but giving birth naturally wasn't terrible. I explained how I didn't want a needle in my back so I wanted to give birth naturally, all natural! And I did, with Taylor. The doctor asked the nurse if I had been having contractions and she told him I had not. He said, "If by some miracle you are at least 8 cm dilated, you don't have to have a c-section, but you will need the epidural so you can bend your knee." I happily agreed because I knew I had been having contractions all night. He checked me and I was 8 1/2 centimeters! So I had to endure the epidural, which wasn't horrible and I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl who weighed 6 pounds 5 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long.

I know she was healthy because she screamed and cried for the first 9 months of her life. Trauma perhaps? Who knows, but this is why I say I should be grateful for every sick, cranky, teething, hug, kiss, laugh, cry, and breath I get to experience with her.

Over the last year I have had 2 knee surgeries and countless break downs. I recommend having a baby like this to no one. It has not been an easy year and as much as I can't believe I am going to say this, I resent her screaming a lot. I think "why me?" more than I should. I know this makes me a terrible mother, but if I can't be honest here where can I be?

This post is so long, but there is the story of Callee for any who were interested.

Does anybody know what awareasis is?

Okay now that I am feeling better I have two funny stories about Taylor. The first occurred on the ride home Wednesday evening. We were in the car and Callee was "singing" as usual and Taylor loves to chat the entire ride, but for some reason that evening she didn't want to chat with me. I could hear her in the backseat talking to Callee. Here is the one sided conversation, Callee I'm gonna teach you something. Look at me, do you know what this is (holding up six fingers)? It's six, CJ is six, oh wait he had a birthday, he isn't six anymore. Okay I'll teach you what you are. (Holding up one finger), this is one, you are one, are you paying attention to me? Look at me Callee. Ok fine, I'll show you this (holding up three fingers.) This is 3, Taylor is 3, I am Taylor, so I am 3. Are you watching me? Fine be dumb forever, I don't care...The moral of the story...Taylor will never be a teacher.

Second story, not as funny, but none the less here it is. We were eating fruit last night, I had started to feel better and wanted to try and eat anything cuz I hadn't eaten all day. Juice started dripping down my chin and Taylor had gone to get herself a napkin so I asked her to bring me one. She came back with a tiny piece of a napkin and giggled as she handed it to me. I said, Tay I asked you to get me a napkin too. She said I know it's right here and pulled it from behind her back. She then proceeded to tell me she was aware-asis(?). What is that? I asked her again, what are you? And she still replied that she was aware-asis. Finally it dawned on me, she's hilarious! So we need to work on the pronunciation a little, but she is trying to use bigger words and it cracks me up. Ms. Aware-asis herself!Have a good holiday weekend. Taylor starts school Tuesday morning.