Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Drama....I hate it!

So I wrote previously about Mike's cousin and his girlfriend and the issues we've had there. We still have not gone to any family functions since Christmas and not sure if we ever will again. We have spoken to his one aunt and made attempts to speak to the other, but it's obvious since it's her son she's upset with us. Which is fine, I have never been in that situation with my child so I don't know how I'd handle it and everyone handles things differently. She does need to realize though, she will not be a part of my children's lives because you would actually need to speak to myself or Mike to do that!

So, things have been quiet in that aspect of life because we don't go to things and we seldom talk to most people in Mike's family. I like it this way and I think Mike likes it because there is no drama that goes with it. Onto my family now!

Some of you are friends with me on facebook and probably saw the long conversation/fight/rant that went on last week or the week before. Let me give you the background information first. Keri, who is my cousin, is 4 months younger than my older sister. My older sister is borderline genius (no I am not kidding) when it comes to books, life she might be borderline slow! I love the girl, but she has made her fair share of mistakes. Keri's mom has seemed to form this "competition" of sorts since the day they were born...who walked first, who talked first, who was potty trained first, who got better grades...you get the point! My mom had told her a few times she needed to stop and she insisted it wasn't a competition that she was only curious about things. My mom stopped telling her any achievement my sister got, but since they went to the same school my aunt always found out. She justified all of this by telling Keri that she had better clothes, etc. because they had more money. Well, when that's what you've been told it leads you to believe you are better than people.

So fast forward a whole lotta years with off and on competitions, cat fights and jealousy and we are now to present day. Keri has 2 kids (well 3 if you count the one noone's supposed to know about that she gave up for adoption); a boy, age 8 and a girl, age 6. Her son C is always being compared to my nephew who will be 10 in August....a little unfair comparison given the age difference, but if his mom feels the need to compare, there's nothing we can do, but not compare! So my nephew made all stars last year and his tournament was July 4 weekend. We went to his tournament which ended around 4 and went to my aunts for a picnic. Keri asked why we were late and we told her (btw, Alissa has not gone to a family function in about 4 years because the competition, etc has gotten so out of hand, but it only seems to be with Keri.) She goes into this 10 minute rant about how C will never play all stars if it means missing a holiday, that is the dumbest thing she's ever heard and why would Alissa let CJ play? Never once did she say congratulations to him or even mention it was great he was picked. When we walked away my mom and I said, "do you think she's jealous C didn't make all stars?"

Flash forward to last week and Keri's status is, "Yay C made all stars so proud of him!" I commented, "Congrats C, but I thought you'd never let him play?" That turned into WW3. I said nothing out of line in our argument, someone else took a few comments too far, but to each their own! I did not make rude or ignorant comments about her mom, her kids or her family except when I said I didn't appreciate R saying she was better than Taylor because she has more toys (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.) Then I told her, her mom was made aware of it at the time because she was in charge of her at the time and I'm sorry her mom didn't feel it was necessary to let her know what was said. I'll post the whole "I'm better than Taylor" scenario below. So in this FB argument she blamed my mom for everything (strike one) and then on Sunday (5 days after the fact) her brother posts a status attacking my kids.

After the whole argument I deleted her, her brother and her mom off my friends list....well she deleted me first I suppose, but you know what I mean. I am tired of the drama and I knew what would happen if I didn't delete all of them. So his status on Sunday was, "YAY C MADE ALL STARS & YES I AM RUBBING IT IN YOUR FACE CUZ YOUR KIDS SUCK! I WASN'T EVEN IN THE HOOPLA & GOT DEFRIENDED SO I'LL SAY WHATEVER I WANT...BTW, NOONE LIKES YOU AND YOUR KIDS SUCK! C, YOU'RE AN ALL STAR! YOUR KIDS SUCK!" Ummm, you have to be a special kind of stupid to attack kids. Lacey commented on it about him being immature & ignorant...they went back and forth for a few minutes & then he deleted it. I guess he didn't want the rest of our family to see it and know that is actually how he & his family are, but everyone all ready knows and are trying to keep the peace until my gma passes.

The whole situation is so stupid and childish and I refuse to go to anymore of my family functions either. I guess our family is not who we choose to surround ourselves with because I have learned that even if you share similar DNA it does not make you family!

That is my venting for today and below is the conversation my mom had with R about being better than others:


R: I'M BETTER THAN TAYLOR
MY MOM: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
R: I'M BETTER THAN TAYLOR
MY MOM: EVERYONE IS THE SAME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?
R: I HAVE MORE TOYS THAN HER
MY MOM: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT? DO YOU EVEN GO TO TAYLOR'S HOUSE? AND IF YOU DO HAVE MORE TOYS YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN HER.
R: YES I AM!

So my mom tells Keri's mom this when she got back (my mom was watching R for my aunt) and my aunt says, R you mean you are bigger than Taylor because you are older than her (R is 7 months older than Taylor.) R says, no I have more toys. My aunt, says R has a speech impediment, you must have heard her wrong! She did nothing to address the situation or comment and never even found it notable to inform R's mom.

If my kids did this, I would be furious at my mom for not telling me and even more furious she did nothing, but make excuses for Taylor. You have to hold them accountable at a young age and teach them right from wrong! That is a parents job! Yes you want your kids to excel and be the best, but what good is that if you are not teaching them they are not always the best and having more toys (which she doesn't btw) does not make you better than the next kid? Teach these kids to be humble, accepting, forgiving and the best they can be! People like my cousin and aunt are why the kids of America are how they are and it's disgusting!

If you've made it this far congratulations! This was a very long, ranting post! Thanks for listening and feel free to leave a comment with any advice & if you read the thing on FB let me know if I did step over the line....sometimes it's not easy to see your own faults and I am the first to admit that.

3 comments:

陳隆 said...
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江婷 said...
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Jennie said...

Everything from facebook makes sense now. I am so sorry that people can be so cruel and heartless. You were right in deleting them. Attacking someone's children is downright intolerable and disgusting. One would assume that all families members should and would be supportive of their supposed loved ones and their children.

Since some people lack empathy, sympathy, compassion and common sense...I will apologize on their behalf. And remind you that you are a phenomenol person, mother and friend! Keep up the good work!