The bad!

The bad - there has been some turmoil in Mike's family. Let me give you a little background information first to help you better understand. Mike's family is so not like mine. My family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) is full of petty turmoil and jealousy. Mike's family has never in the 7 years we've been together even had a little spat of any sort. They accept anyone, they don't care if you're rich, poor, beautiful, ugly, etc. What you don't want to do is make them mad because once you're out and you offended someone, you are out for life. They do forgive people, but there are certain lines you can never cross and expect to get back in.

With that out of the way, Mike's cousin dated this girl for a while and was going to propose (bought the ring and all.) A week before he planned on proposing she brought up in a conversation how she wasn't ready to get married and even though they didn't break up at that time things were strained (she didn't know he was going to propose or that he bought a ring.) In this time she gives Mike's sister this sob story of how she's going to lose this and that if she doesn't come up with $600 & Mike's sister being the kind, naive person she is lends it to her. She still hasn't seen the $600 & to say she is a little pissed off is an understatement. 3 weeks after that conversation they had broken up and she got a little psycho. She started dating someone else, but would drive by his house to see if anyone was there. When she found out he was dating someone else she called me and asked if this certain car was the new gf's cuz she was going to key it (it was actually Mike's sisters new car!) She followed him different places and pretty much stalked him for about 6 more months.His new gf got pregnant, the family seemed to like her, but things were always rocky between them. He wanted her to quit smoking and she needed to find a job asap. They bought a house, he helped raise her child and the one they had together and at family things they seemed happy, but he complained about her and she complained how he treated her at home.

One day she decides to move to FL. They sign a joint custody agreement for BOTH the girls and she moves and leaves them here until July. In the meantime Mike's cousin starts dating the psycho again who now has a 10 month old little girl with someone else (Mike's cousin's daughter is now 2 1/2.)The family is in an outrage about it because this girl is literally insane. Nobody wants her around, he's defensive if you ask him one little thing and everyone's fighting. One sister (Mike's cousins mom) won't talk to the other 2 because they feel like they are ganging up on her son. 2 weeks ago this is the same woman who wouldn't talk to her own son because she was upset with his decision. Also the new gf is telling his mom not to talk to his ex who is the mother of her granddaughter! She is a grown woman being told who she can and can't talk to. Needless to say, it's just not a great situation. During all of this B, Mike's cousin, stopped talking to me all together because I was "disrespectful" to his gf. Rude, yes; disrespectful, absolutely not!

So on Sweetest day he proposed to her. For the sake of the family and family gatherings I figured it was time to try to make amends. I don't have to be friends with her and chat on the phone, but I can be cordial and polite to her at family gatherings. I texted him "congrats" on Monday. An hour later Mike's sister calls me and says, get on Mike's fb page and look at B's wall (I'm not friends with him on there anymore because she got on there and deleted me!) I do and she wrote on his wall, "Listen up ladies, fake congrats are not needed or wanted for that matter! You know who you are so just shut up!" I couldn't leave a comment under Mike's name so Mike's sister said she was going to. She simply said, "Ok this is getting ridiculous. The person you are talking about probably will never see this so does it just give you satisfaction to talk behind her back? Are we 5 and have to post stuff on fb or can we just say it directly to them? She was genuine in her congrats, trying to be the bigger person and make amends so until you talk to her don't jump to conclusions." She commented back, "There you go starting stuff and assuming you know who I'm talking about. It's not about her or anyone in B's family for that matter! By the way, did you even congratulate B?"

In the meantime (the next morning) B sends me a text that says, "Thanks for the congrats." I texted back, "Your welcome. Just figured if you were going to marry her it was time to make amends for the sake of family functions. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable and I don't think it's right to shut one person out of a family and I am definitely not asking Mike to turn his back on his family." He texted back, "I agree 100% thanks for taking the initiative." So a couple hours later I said, "Since we're on the same page again, what she said to Tina (Mike's sister) was rude and uncalled for. If she wants people to like her and give her a second chance, maybe she shouldn't be such a bitch." He said he didn't know what was said, but he'd look and then talk to her. Tina went to respond to her later and the whole post was deleted, not just the comments. If it wasn't about me then why'd she assume that's who Tina was talking about and why'd they take down the whole post, not just the rude comments? Kind of makes me wonder.

My next step after talking to Mike is going to be to write a letter to them with everything I feel and want to say in it. I said in the letter, I welcome civil responses! Hopefully this will be resolved by Thanksgiving, because I can be really mean and vengeful and I will make her as uncomfortable as possible at Thanksgiving if I need to. The moral of all of this is she can say what she wants, but when confronted it's suddenly "not about who you think." Yes it was and you had the courage to say it thinking it wouldn't get back to me and I wouldn't see it, but since you got caught you have to lie and cower. Maybe you shouldn't have said it at all then!

So now that my rant is over, can you tell I'm just a wee bit upset and frustrated by immature, psychotic people? By the way she is 29 and he is 32 so we're not talking about a 19 or 20 year old just being ridiculously stupid!