Tuesday, January 5, 2010

New Years Resolutions

I am not a big resolution person. I strive to work on things that I feel I am lacking in daily, not once a year only to fall off the wagon after a short while. Plus, I don't need to lose weight & I all ready quit smoking, so those are usually the two big ones! However, this year I am making a resolution and it just happens to be the new year so I guess we could call it a new years resolution if we'd like.

I am putting it out there to hold myself accountable. Some of you may feel I am a terrible person and feel like you've had the wrong idea of me. Some of you may struggle with the same thing and have the same resolution and maybe some of you can learn from my mistakes. Then there are some of you who may finish reading and think, "That was it?" So have I stalled enough for you guys?

Okay, I am extremely hard on myself and more importantly MY KIDS!!!!!!! This year, I refuse to put so much pressure on my 5 year old that she cries cuz she's not "the best." I do not do this intentionally, but I have learned through things she tells my mother that she often feels "less than" and if she isn't #1 she sucks as a person pretty much. Obviously no mother wants to hear her child feels that way so I am resolving to be more of a "go with the flow" mom not the one that is always stressed.

I have decided that I am harder on myself than the next person could ever be so as long as my kids are happy and healthy and decent I will ease up on them and realize they are 3 and 5 not 13 and 15. This does not mean there will be no discipline, this just means there will be more praise for the little things that too often go unnoticed and less harsh punishments for the mole hills that too often get turned into mountains.

I am hoping to provide an update periodically and provide before and after examples, but I'm not ready for that right now, because honestly I'm embarrassed looking back how mean I actually am/was. I'm also hoping to do an update on what the doctor said about Taylor and what her teacher and I have decided to do, but I'm not even sure of what that is at this point!

Now you are free to judge and scorn me all you want, but if you have been or are there now please feel free to let me know I'm not alone also!


Kristi said...

Yup, I too suffer from being over critical of the boys, big time. I know for myself I find I have such nigh expectations for them that they have no choice but to not meet them. The way I am currently battling it is this: I am picking one goal at a time. Right now, the goal is to give an instruction one time, and then give the kids a chance to obey. Up until now, I have discovered my hubby and myself both hovering after we give an instruction, waiting for them to do it. I think that sets them up for bad situations at school when instructions are only given once and then expected to be followed. It is so hard after I have been hovering for so long. I think though that once they believe that I trust they will do the right thing, then they might start felling more positive in their ability to be trustworthy. I don't know...it's a theory.

Andrea said...

That's a great resolution...and I too am guilty of this at time - making big deals out of things that shouldn't really matter...being too picky about what my kids can and cannot do - when I really need to choose wisely what I want to teach them - I mean, who cares if they pick their nose once in a while...it's a much bigger deal if they are not sharing or being selfish than if they are picking their nose. ;)