Wednesday, May 21, 2008

This will be everywhere.

When I went to the doctor on Friday I went to see about getting on an anti-depressant and talk to my doctor about my options. I did in fact get on an anti-depressant and so far I haven't noticed a "happy burst", but I'm not on edge like I used to be. I was explaining to him how if others looked at my life they probably wouldn't have a clue why I was so unhappy because I look at my life and don't know the answer to that. He told me that with women having to work and still do everything else the stresses of life just get to be too much.

I am a very lucky woman in that we don't have a dishwasher, but Mike washes the dishes for me. On the weekends he helps with cleaning the house (and throughout the week if he has the time) and the laundry. I really do have it great because I have an equal partner who is not afraid to tell his friends that he can't do this or that because he needs to fold laundry. Yes he gets harassed for it, but they just don't understand. When we got married we said it was forever and we meant it. He's just trying to make sure that his forever is a happy one!

I am so tired of people telling me they don't know why I am so tired and crabby because I have a desk job and my kids are really well behaved. Yes I do have a desk job, but that doesn't mean I am not mentally tired (especially the last couple weeks) and yes my kids are very well behaved, but they weren't born that way. We have consistently disciplined them and it is tiring. I do this now so I don't have to be worried about having a miserable life later. I know the teen years will probably be rough with them, but they'd be a whole lot rougher if I didn't stay on top of the discipline now. There are things that they do that I may be too forgiving on and there are things they do that I am probably too tough on, but they are my kids forever and I have to live with the way they turn out, not anyone else. I don't mind people voicing their opinions, but don't say the same thing a million times! I do what I do for a reason and Mike backs me 100%, I think we are the only two who really have a say in it. If someone brings something up and they have a point, we discuss it and go from there I don't need you to tell me a million more times, I am not deaf just hard headed.

Thanks for listening, who needs counseling when you have a blog? It is so much cheaper.


KC said...

some time mental rest is just as important if not more so then physical rest.. You do what you need too for yourself and your family and no one has the right to say anything to you about it.. end of story..
You need to do what is best for you so you can be there 100% for your girls and husband.. don't let anyone tell you differant.

Kellan said...

I'm sorry you are feeling stressed/depressed and I hope the medicine helps - give it time! It is not easy - this mothering thing!!

Have a good day, Courtney - see you - Kellan

Motherhood for Dummies said...

I agree with kc. Don't let people tell you what to do or what you should be feeling. If you are stressed then feel it and don't feel bad for feeling that way. :)

Steph said...

Amen Sista!!!!! Good for you for letting it all out, I am glad you are feeling the edge lift a bit, hopefully you will continue to see progress.

Stephanie said...

I completely agree...that's what blogs are for. :) My mom is badly guilty of voicing her opinion a million times.

I'm proud of you for doing what you need to do to make things better for you and your family.

AZMom said...

Love your attitude on child rearing my friend. I am the same way. I also get crap from my sister who thinks I am too hard on my kids but it works for us and our kids are well behaved and adjusted and loved and happy so there. ;-) I agree with you 100%!

As for being mentally exhausted after working a desk job, you got it girl! I hear you on that one because by Friday I can barely lift my head!

You are doing a GREAT job and don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise! :-)

Janice said...

I think you read my mind today and posted all of my thoughts. I don't work outside of the home, be recently I have been crabby and moody and I feel like a bear to my kids. I am freaking out that I may need some drugs again too, a few years ago I went through this same thing. UGH... The meds made me gain a ton of weight and it was only one year ago that I finally got it off. So I am trying to do anything and everything but the perscription stuff. I will pray for you..
big hugs and big kiss

my wonderful men... said...

KC is right, mental is harder on us. I know I go home sometimes and feel like I was run over by a bus, and that is no joke!

I can't tell you oh, everything will be o.k. - because I hate when people tell me that. So I'm just going to say - hang in there and if you ever need an ear to vent to I'm right here. As moms we all do really feel your pain. We love you!

Kathy said...

You go girl!
Hang in there. It is all worth it in the long run.

HRH said...

We are here to listen. Glad you talked to someone about it. Hope this helps and you feel back to normal.