Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or just feeding off of me?

It's hard to remember when you are having a bad day at work or just hating life in general that your children feed off of you. You set the tone for them also. I am sure some of Taylor's behavior issues were that I was in a bad mood and crabby and missing Mike and even though I didn't come right out and say it or act harshly towards them, I'm sure you could feel the misery seeping from my pores.

Yesterday I woke up and said, "Today is going to be a good day!" Turns out it was. The girls were wonderful in the morning, very little whining and complaining and when I went to pick them up from daycare I sat in my car for a few extra minutes and asked God to give me the strength to shake off work and focus on them. When I went in to get them they whined as usual about everything, but instead of getting irritated, I explained to them that I didn't need them to complain and when we got home we could discuss anything they wanted, good or bad, but to focus on happy things on the way home. We chatted about everything good that happened to them that day and when we got home they couldn't remember anything bad worth whining over.

After we ate dinner they went upstairs to their playroom to run off some energy while I brought everything in from the car. When I came in they came downstairs and requested some cartoons so we all 3 sat together and watched 30 minutes of TV and then got ready for bed. This is a huge thing for us because if you go to pick Taylor up, Callee runs over and pushes her out of the way and wants picked up. She is a very jealous child and so we have been working on telling her she can sit with us too or we let her throw her fit and ignore her, Taylor needs love and snuggles too. Last night Taylor was sitting next to me and leaning on me and instead of Callee hitting her or being mean she put her hands out to be picked up and said, "Mama, I up too?" It was a big step in the right direction and I couldn't have been prouder of her at that moment.

Either my kids are Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or they are feeding off of me. I am making a conscience decision to keep thinking positively because it is going to be about 2 weeks until I can get into my doctor. Thanks for all your well wishes and I will let you know what I decide after I go to the doctor. In the meantime, I am hoping to keep the positive thoughts coming and hopefully that will keep the good behavior coming.

One last thing, Callee gets a sticker on the sticker chart every time she gives us her pacifier. She only has it at nap time at daycare and in the car (she screams if she doesn't have it.) We would like to break her of it right around her 2nd birthday. Last night when coming in the house she took it out of her mouth, handed it to me and said, "No baba mama." She loves getting those stickers!


Kellan said...

I totally agree - I believe I totally set the tone in our house - if I am happy and upbeat then everyone in the house is that same way!! It helps a lot if I try to be happy - you know.

Have a good day Courtney - see you - Kellan

Terry M. said...

You have discovered a valuable truth, that the true Dr. Jekylls and Mr/Mrs Hydes are really the adults. Our children copy our behaviors. Even when they aren't following our calm example, it sure helps our responses to what they are doing. Wished I had learend this when my kids were still young!


my wonderful men... said...

So, so true, you hit right on the nose. I too find myself saying o.k. God please help me out, don't get up set over the small stuff. The towel that my son didn't hang right in the bathroom is nothing to freak out about. But, if I did freak out about it the whole house would explode and it not worth it.
It's not easy being a parent but hey we are trying and that is all we can do. And you are doing a good job girl! Keep it up! Mike's school will not be forever.

Skittle said...

Sometimes it is so hard to remind ourselves of this WHEN we are in a bad mood. I feel so guilty (and rightly so) when I go off on Madi because of work, or whatever. But since she is 9 now, it is a lot easier to say "Mama had a bad day at work today. I really need some time to unwind and calm down." She's pretty good at letting me have that time.

Kristi said...

I had one of those "off" afternoons in response to Noah's mouthiness today. I had started off so well. I decided to keep a running tab of how many days in a row I could go without yelling. So today WOULD have been number two. I announced to the boys that "Mommy's not going to yell anymore and we had an okay day, but Noah's mouthiness was getting worse and worse as the afternoon wore on and about a half hour before I had to leave to go teach, I LOST IT!!!! I felt so bad that I just came home and took him out of bed just to snuggle with him I guess we start again at number one tomorrow.

P.S. Sorry for the novel :)

AZMom said...

GREAT job!!! It sounds like a great way to end the day.

I know when I am stressed my kids pick up on it and act out. Trust me, we have all been there.

Hang in there :-) We are here if you need us!

HRH said...

Stickers are good.

I love the thought of you three watching cartoons together...so sweet. I am so glad today was better. You deserve a good day!

Steph said...

I think it is a bit of both, but they are more then likely feeding off you

Angela said...

Yes that is how I will start tomorrow.
Good day

Glad your girls picked up your happy thoughts